Hello world!

Hello world is right!  I am happy to be saying hello.  I have been here, but lurking in the shadows! I have known that I needed to open myself to the world, it is my destiny. I have not been ready to do until now, so… here I go.

My husband, from whom I was separated committed suicide almost 6 years ago. When I was trying to cope, to deal with his decision, to pick up the pieces, I searched for someone, something, somewhere to help me, to give me hope, to let me know that I wasn’t alone. There were an endless number of websites, books, articles, etc. that offered guidance and hope for people who have suffered a loss through suicide. Not one of them was specifically designed for the spouse, partner, significant other. I know that there are others, many others who have been in a similar circumstance. I believe it happens way more often than anyone realizes. Many people probably are not willing (or able) to discuss it, to discuss their unique role in their loved ones’ horrific final decision. I want to be that forum, the one that I couldn’t find. I want to be there to offer the ability to hear my story, to share yours, to offer support, understanding, suggestions to one another, and to others who need us.

It has been a long day and it is late. I will soon be sharing more with you all…. I will tell you that this new adventure I have undertaken is emotionally draining. I am reaching out in every way that I know how, a website, a blog, a twitter account, I intend to make a facebook page… it is wonderful, but draining. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, how it happened, why it happened, it is always emotionally overwhelming when you spend time reliving your experiences. These last few days have been filled with all of the emotions and fears, love and hate that I go through on a regular basis. They have just been more intense than normal, and compacted into a smaller time period. So INTENSE! I am going to bed, I have a big day ahead tomorrow, an evaluation by my boss…. then more time to work on my “calling”, my need to reach out and find all of you that I can!