For the few of you who know I exist!!! I have not been around, I am really not sure why. Now it has all come rushing back at me. I have an acquaintence whose husband committed suicide on Wednesday. I know that I have been “called” to tell my story, to help others if I am able. I guess it is time for me to re-program myself to work towards that goal again. Hopefully you will check back soon and I will have words of wisdom again.
Just a note to those of you who are new to this experience, please do not worry that you can’t see any possible way that there are silver linings. I did not see them right away either. Even when they happened, like in the case of my son’s PDD diagnosis, I didn’t realize that it was truly a silver lining that was until years later. Please DO NOT think in any way that I am “happy” with the choice my husband made just because of these little bits of good news. I would trade it all in a heartbeat to have him back in our lives, to watch his children grow, to be as proud of them as I am. You have been handed this choice, you did not make it. Now it is yours to take and run with, make the best out of the sitution that you possibly can. These will truly allow for some silver linings. You may also choose to sit back and life go 0n without you, I did for quite a while. But, the fulfillment of your life’s goals, dreams, loves, desires is in your hands. Take the reins, take control, run with it as far and as fast as you can. Make your life, your children’s lives, your friend’s lives the best they can be given this tragedy. I promise, eventually you will find some silver…..
If you are reading this and know someone who has been through the suicide of a spouse, partner, or significant other, please let them know that this is a forum for them. The best self-help I found was reading about others and their triumphs. Remember, we are the SURVIVORS, we did survive, we will survive, and we will be strong and successful. It just takes time, and sometimes someone to lean on or to talk to. Don’t forget to keep up with www.spsos.org as well. I am posting new links daily.
Hello world is right! I am happy to be saying hello. I have been here, but lurking in the shadows! I have known that I needed to open myself to the world, it is my destiny. I have not been ready to do until now, so… here I go.
My husband, from whom I was separated committed suicide almost 6 years ago. When I was trying to cope, to deal with his decision, to pick up the pieces, I searched for someone, something, somewhere to help me, to give me hope, to let me know that I wasn’t alone. There were an endless number of websites, books, articles, etc. that offered guidance and hope for people who have suffered a loss through suicide. Not one of them was specifically designed for the spouse, partner, significant other. I know that there are others, many others who have been in a similar circumstance. I believe it happens way more often than anyone realizes. Many people probably are not willing (or able) to discuss it, to discuss their unique role in their loved ones’ horrific final decision. I want to be that forum, the one that I couldn’t find. I want to be there to offer the ability to hear my story, to share yours, to offer support, understanding, suggestions to one another, and to others who need us.
It has been a long day and it is late. I will soon be sharing more with you all…. I will tell you that this new adventure I have undertaken is emotionally draining. I am reaching out in every way that I know how, a website, a blog, a twitter account, I intend to make a facebook page… it is wonderful, but draining. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, how it happened, why it happened, it is always emotionally overwhelming when you spend time reliving your experiences. These last few days have been filled with all of the emotions and fears, love and hate that I go through on a regular basis. They have just been more intense than normal, and compacted into a smaller time period. So INTENSE! I am going to bed, I have a big day ahead tomorrow, an evaluation by my boss…. then more time to work on my “calling”, my need to reach out and find all of you that I can!
Spouses, Partners and Significant Others of Suicide 